My first Beer Review

To preface my first review, I would just like to note that this isn't going to be pretentious or yuppy. It will be straightforward and hopefully relatable to everyone and not just those special beer aficionados who love to cite a beer's "hint of pecans, coffee, and lavender" etc. They can be awful. I'll touch on the same elements, but it will be more manly. Well, more stylish anyways.

Additionally, I will rate all beers out of 5-Stars. That's it. Enjoy.

GOOSE ISLAND's Belgian style "Matilda" 2009 4-stars: I'm a tough critic, but it's that good.

GLASS: This beer shouldn't be drank from the bottle, or from a pint glass. It's expensive (4-pack is $9.99), so drink it right. It should be in a stout glass with a big opening. A tulip glass preferably, but any kind of snifter that allows the beer to open up. I know the pint glass is the ole standby, but if your going to do that don't buy a Belgian Ale.

TEXTURE and ALCOHOL: True to the style, Matilda has a wonderful texture. The reintroduction of yeast into the bottle makes the bubbles stick to the side of the glass like a rich champagne. Going down, the beer has a light feel, but the 7% alcohol is noticeable post-drink. It's delicious.

VIRGINS: For Belgian Ale virgins Matilda is a great first. It's modern, American, tasty, and it doesn't have the scary sediment that some of the native Belgians do. It will get it eventually, as the beer can age in the bottle for up to 5-years. BUT, trying it now would be an easy transition for any beer lover yet to try the banging Belgian style ale.

WHERE CAN I BUY THIS?

Most grocery stores don't sell many Belgian Ales, a travesty, I know. Specialty liquor/beer stores will have it if they are any good (Pshaw, maybe I am a snob when it comes to beer and what stores should offer, but damn it, this is the United States. I'm not patient and I never will be). I purchased mine in Iowa City at John's Grocery (a cramped corner store with a world renowned beer room: I highly recommend it for local shopping and website orders)

Also, the package isn't the usual Goose Island Honker in a different color. It's identical to the bottle pictured above. I couldn't find it and had to ask for help, sadly it was right in front of me. What can I say, I'm quick.

Orchard Green

"Dining Room:
Tuesday through Saturday 5-10 p.m.
Sunday & Monday 5-9 p.m.
Lounge:
Open at 3 daily.
Serving a late night menu until midnight
Happy Hour everyday from 3-6 p.m.
1/2 off wines by the glass $5 Belgian beer paddles1/2 off appetizers from 4-6 p.m.
News:
*Now booking for the holidaysfor parties from 8-75 people"

Above: Taken from http://www.orchardgreenrestaurant.com/

Here is my review- Originally posted on Yelp.com

First, I'd like to premise by saying that the beer selection is 5-stars. I love Belgian styles and have had the St. Bernardus Abt 12, Piraat, Gulden Draak, and an array of the other beers that the restaurant has to offer prior to dining here (Check out John's Grocery, who is the distributor for the restaurant.) So those were amazing. That aside, years ago I worked with Brian Herzic, the head chef/owner, at Givanni's.

Given that, I expected the food to be just as good as Givanni's and realistically, much much better. I was disappointed. The 2 beers I had at dinner, a St. Bernardus Triple (which was great, creamy, fragrant, light mouth feel) and the Piraat (less good... but still a great beer) were the high light.

Here's a rundown:

Appetizer: Seafood wrapped in Phyllo (puff pastry) with a cream sauce. The presentation was the first mistake. The seafood mixture (with sauce) was rolled in the Phyllo, reminiscent of a burrito, but that was OK. The issue I had was the giant ball of sweet potato strings that were riding on top of the burrito, adding much unneeded frill, but some welcome texture I suppose. It was just too big. As for the "seafood," a few large chunks of shrimp stood out, but the rest blended into the cream sauce. The flavor was reminiscent of a tuna pot pie. Granted, we ordered the dish with high expectations, but it didn't deliver at all, even to my low expectations. It was only $10, but it was an appetizer and that was near the high end of the spectrum. It was an awful, messy dish. Exacerbating its general gooeyness, the bottom of the pastry was raw, doughy and inedible. We told the waitress. She followed with an unhelpful, "that's too bad" and cleared the plate. Overall, I couldn't see the story the chef was trying to tell. The flavors were muddled, and to reiterate, tuna pot pie...

Main Course: I thought this would be some salvation to mitigate my poor feelings after the appetizer. It seemed that the meal could only improve and it did. Just not to the quality I expect for entrees that run at an $18 minimum. My meal: Here is the website description (http://www.yelp.com/redir?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.orchardgreenrestaurant.com): "Leg of Lamb Tagine Braised with kumquats, shallots, dates & sesame; buttery cous cous."

Sounds good right? and Mediterranean so it's true to the restaurant's sort of gastronomical theme, although the atmosphere was more analogous to a church with vaulted ceilings and windows to match the cherry wood and the too loud music, groaning on and on, varying by song and cutting through our conversation.

Back to the lamb: It was tender. That was the best part about it. Pleasantly overcooked in a fall off the bone sort of way (it was served sliced and off the bone). But the flavors in the sauce were not there. They were an amalgamation of sugars from the kumquats and dates lacking the balance that I expected from shallots, sesame, and SALT.

That last, simplest of ingredients, should have been incorporated more thoroughly (through any means, even soy sauce. The sprinkled sesame seeds on top gave it a very Asian feel as did the sauce, which would've been more at home on some sesame chicken).

Anyways, I was shocked. Luckily I hadn't eaten all day so I finished it, so it wasn't inedible. It just didn't have the subtleties I expected. It didn't exemplify a chef who knows technique, who knows flavors.


My date's (girlfriend's) dish:

Website: "Tarragon Chicken Broccoli rabe, string beans & acorn squash wild mushroom cheesecake."

! ! ! Cheesecake ! ! ! should have set off some alarms but I expected subtler flavors. It was reminiscent of a pumpkin pie, and not a good one, the kind made from that orange glop a forelorn home cook scoops from a too cheap can. In small doses with the meat the cheesecake added something, but I mistakenly tried a bite of it alone and immediately gulped some Piraat to wash the "pie" from my mouth.

Adding to this, the chicken was dry. It was so overcooked. I am surprised it was served. Reminded me of chicken that had been braised, taken out of the braising liquid and thrown into a heating pan for a few hours. Like dorm food really.

Blackstone (On Scott Blvd in Iowa City) has a much better version of this dish that is $7 dollars cheaper. It blows my mind that this chicken dish was $18. It wasn't half a rack of chicken, there weren't any truly expensive aspects to it except for the pumpkin pie like cheese cake, which could've been dropped from the dish, I just don't get it.



Dessert:

Didn't happen, see above. Also, none of the desserts sounded good. How do you manage that? My girlfriend loves dessert, she always wants something with chocolate (original right?) But nothing on this menu spoke to her. And she's not even a food nut like me.


Overall....ummm...

Well, it should be easy to deduce my complete opinion of the place. 5-Stars for the beer, 2 for the food.

Change I can believe in

I regret to inform you that tennis will no longer be the subject of my blog. Not. haha. Well, the regret part. I just find that no on wants to read about it. And, my desire to write about it went the way of the Wimbledon. At least for the year I suppose.

Look, I know everyone is disappointed.... But we'll make it through this. I promise.

So onto the new. I think Food is the most likely candidate, but don't count out anything just yet. But keep checking I will be doing some experiments, exploratory blogging if you will.

Think what you will about the part 1. It was just an idea born of Shaq's absurd quotes.

As for the Nike video's, they are just a start. In this final post there will be more video's and pictures pertaining directly to the paper. Enjoy,
Shaq

Photo credit: members.shaw.ca

This is Shaq's magnificent 64,000 square foot house mentioned in the paper. In the paper it says 17,000 but that is taken directly from the source I cited. As the 17,000 square foot home was sold I think the most logical explanation is that he had 2 homes. But I watched this cribs episode and it was insane. And it was the 64,000 squarefoot home I saw, just to be clear.

There are sections of the house that they didn't even use. Shaq said that sometimes he would walk into a room or section of the house and feel like he was somewhere else. The house was so big it was an adventure. Once you get bored with the 2,000 or so square feet you spend all of your time in you don't have to move! Just walk over to another side of the house and voila, a new home.

Clearly the square footage includes the tennis courts, basketball etc. but it's insane. Period.

The embedding option has been "disabled upon request," but here is the link to the Cribs video. Seven minutes long. Skip in 1 minute 40 seconds and it's right on Shaq's entrance. Take notice of the fingerprint scanner to get into his office. Crazy. And according to his wife he's a clean freak. Interesting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Amq_XWYimmQ

Kobe Bryant




Here is a photo of Kobe Bryant's accuser in the 2003 case if you were curious to see it. Classy as she looks on the front of that dirty tabloid, but what do you expect? Personally I don't believe her for a second, not that he was in the right at all. He has a wife and a child! But I doubt if some young hotel worker would turn down sex with an NBA star of his stature. Call me cynical, or sexist haha. But my answer is guided ourely by logic. It just makes sense.


And Jordan!

As everyone will reiterate, Jordan was the man on the court. I can say, and this could be widely supported by video and just via stats. He was the best player the NBA has ever seen. I couldn't find single youtube videos to break down his dunks. Originally I wanted to have a top 5 list or something along those lines. In hindsight, this is probably better as they are all so good.

He was amazing.

Ignore the music if you want, but these moves are incredible.

I love how it's in top 10 and the announcers are right on. "This is Michael jordan at his best and there are very few people on this planet who can do this.


Here is Jordan's 60 Minute interview. It reveals his sportsmanship and outlook. Especially at the beginning as they discuss baseball. I think it's great to have such a contrast to Shaq's in your face, "I'm the best." "Call me Superman, etc." And I had no idea his father was robbed and murdered. Incredible information. so if you have a few minutes take it all in. He also touches on his gambling problem (or prior problem).

I also agree with the message Jordan wants to give to the public and I will repeat it. 'Look closer to home for your heroes, not just to superstars. "

So remember your stars and take a second to consider the WHY. Why do we watch these stars what is it?

My best guess?

They're human, just like you and me.

PART 2- Some Nike Video

A clear voice and a good quote. Always, Jordan is on top with his class. Even his attire is first class. The delivery, the authority. These are qualities that stars have. Nike saw this in Jordan and exploited it. But their hand was heavy in the deal as well. Surely they picked out the outfit, lighting Jordan in the best light they could. His image is memorable. Walking down that dark street, telling you about the times he's lost. Fans love that angle, take it in for all it's worth.

This is Bo Jackson. Another great athlete who dealt with Nike during his career. Granted he played in the NFL and the MLB with success, but look at the hyperbole that Nike makes of it. He surf's, he races, he does everything. And that catch phrase was born from Nike as well, you don't know Bo. Simplicity seems to be their strongest suit and they play it well.

Final- Because it doesn't always have to be serious

MJ and Shaq
Ever wonder if the biggest names in the game spend their free time together?
I do too and I bet it would go something like this.

So one night Jordan and Shaq are having a sleep over at Shaq’s because he has the biggest bed. The two are incredibly competitive so they decide to play some chess.

/>

***MOST LINES ARE QUOTES FROM THE PLAYERS
**UNDERLINED AND ITALICIZED LINES ARE NOT
Jordan makes a move, slides a pawn out two spaces and the game begins.
Jordan: “Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.”


Shaq: “I don’t see us having a problem.”


Shaq moves a pawn and a couple uneventful turns pass. Then Jordan takes Shaq’s queen, laughing.


Jordan: “I didn't really have a choice”


Shaq: “There is no need to talk.”


Jordan: “Accept failure, everyone fails at something. When you think about the consequences you always think of a negative result.” You wanna bet on this? 20,000 to the winner, what do you say?


Shaq: “That’s sort of a trick question, and I don’t have a trick answer. Next question, please.”


Jordan: “I’m a competitor. I wanna play.” I wanna bet.


Shaq: Are you trying to Hustle me? I was in Kazaam. “I know what’s a charade, and I know what’s not a charade. I’ll leave it at that."

Jordan: I just wanna bet. Afraid?

Shaq: “I didn’t say anything. Got nothing to say.” You can’t trick me into betting. I’m Superman. Look at the Logo on my chest.

Jordan: Yeah, you’re Superman. You’re a hero. You can’t lose.

Shaq: "But you know, as the saying goes, a hero ain’t nothing but a sandwich."

Jordan: (Awkwardly) That’s the toughest part. (What is wrong with him??)

Shaq: "I’m a married man; I don’t need a relationship with another man."

Jordan: I just wanted a friendly bet. I didn’t ask you to dinner.

Shaq: “I’ll beat you up right now if you want me to.” “I’m George Bush. I’m the president.”

Jordan: I thought you were Superman?

Shaq looks over at his bed, ignoring Jordan.

Shaq: "I think I’m one of the patches of the quilt here. "

Jordan: Man, umm, what?

Shaq: "I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots. I don’t know how it is for you earthlings, but where I’m from, strength is mental."

Jordan: Alien huh? "I was pretty confident that I could make some kind of contact, and I did.”

Awkward silence. Jordan looks back at the game and takes out one of Shaq’s Rooks.

Shaq: “I knew I was dog meat. [But] I’m the good-quality dog meat. I’m the Alpo.”

Jordan: Rolls his eyes. Looks away.
Shaq looks down at his King, surrounded by a few pawns and lesser pieces.

Shaq: "It’s just like a bunch of worker bees protecting the king bee, because I’m not a queen bee. I’m a king bee.”

Jordan looks back at the board, desperate for some escape from this madness. Thank God. Check.

Jordan: No hard feelings, right?

Shaq: “There is nothing for me to be sour about. What you got to understand is that I’m a military man."

Jordan looks down at the pieces on the board, staring at Shaq’s with disdain. Shaq moves his Knight and takes Kobe’s Bishop.

Jordan: "That was a great move, but I don’t wanna tell you that. But I gotta tell you." Because the game is over man.

Shaq: "but did you ever hear me say anything about it?"

Jordan: "Intelligence wins."

Shaq: Being the best right now doesn’t do anything for my feathers. I’m the Halle Berry of the NBA. Everybody wants this, baby. Everybody wants me. I’m getting older. I’m getting sexier. I’m getting meaner. I can still do what I do."

He speaks the last line to the picture of Halle Berry hanging on his wall. Jordan made an escape sometime ago, even tripping on the tails of his tux. But Shaq didn’t notice. He only had eyes for her.

Photos ascribed to Google Images and the subsequent sites: Hoophypes, NBA.com and IMDB.com

Awesome